Whole Numbers

I will be 640 months old on August 19th. Kelsey will be 383 months old on the 16th. Eli is exactly 12 month old today – yep, our little fellow is exactly one-year old! Using whole numbers to calculate age is certainly more convenient and easier.



This year has gone by so fast. Watching Eli grow and develop, seeing Kelsey blossom as a mother – observing her gaining footing, gathering her confidence, learning to trust her inner gut- always knowing that she would be an amazing mother – has been a wonderful journey and it has given me a lot to reflect upon.





I was so young when I had my first baby (babies) that I think I missed a lot in the wonder,wow and awe department. I am making up for it now by watching Eli's rapid growth and appreciating it at a whole different level. Having the time and attitude to really observe and value all the developmental changes that happen in this first year has been a real gift.



A mistake I made was to sometimes wish part of my children’s life away. I can recall looking at a wailing Kelsey, Melissa or Peter and thinking, “When will you be five years old and I can just ask you what is wrong?” Occasionally, (maybe most of the time) I felt so overwhelmed and concerned about the judgment of others and what they thought about my abilities that this is often what prompted and powered me through the day. Age does have its benefits - I no longer waste valuable time caring what others think.

I wish I was given the opportunity to return to one day of my choosing to relive a day with each of my children. I think I would pick a normal day – maybe when they were about 3 ½ to 4 ½ years old – and we would sit and talk, maybe go to the park, and I would drink in every nuance of them – stamp my brain with their smell, their expressions, the sound of their voice. Aah, what a gift that would be!

Thank God that I get to spend quality time with Eli (and Abby) and that I finally learned to be present to this momement - the here and now - and I can truly value and appreciate this time. And, you know what . . . I am going to enjoy every moment I have to spend time with him, because before I know it, he’ll be 383 months old!


Happy Birthday Elijah Frances Graves!