Best Friends - BBF- The Greatest Gift in Life

(Goofy picture of me - but I'm thinking about each of you)
As a parent I strive to share a close relationship with my children. Having had a difficult relationship with my own mother I have learned through that experience about the various things not to do and conversely things that I can do that add to and foster a good relationship with each of them. However, having said that, I am certain they could come up with a few things they wished I did differently! My children, their spouses, and now my grandchildren, give me a tremendous amount of richness to my life. I love them profoundly and I am proud to call them my friends.

But that's not what I want to talk about today. Children, in a perfect world, are expected to have a role in the life of their parents (that's the way it should be, but we all know about shoulds). Good, bad, or indifferent, consciously or unconsciously you continue a relationship of some sort with your parents because they are the people who helped form you and you feel an obligation to this relationship.

Today, I want to write about the people who you choose to be part of your life and them, a part of yours. You meet randomly – at school, the friend of someone else you know, some quirk of happenstance, a common goal, a shared experience, a mutual love. How this happens is magical, it is the beginnings of a legend and the greatest gift one can receive. This person becomes part of you, they help form, define, and sustain you - they become your BEST FRIEND - a title reserved for a person who is as close to you as possible without the biological connection.

I have three best friends and they have each in their own special way, been one of the greatest gifts in my life. To count how often they've been a mother who helped guide, strengthen, and sustain me – a nurse, to help heal me; a conscience, teacher, confessor - the times I've cried with them and for them, the cumulative hours of laughter, how they've taught me tolerance, perseverance, and peace. Collectively they represent 106 years of friendship. How did I become so blessed, so fortunate to have these incredible women in my life? Who are these amazing women and how did they become part of the fabric of who I am?

Janet:

We met on the first day of 7th grade at Cordell Hull Junior High School. Our music teacher, Mr. Reich, was taking attendance and he read my name first and then my twin sister, Suzanne. Janet, who was standing behind us kindly asked, "Are you two twins?" To which I responded, "What do you think?" From that moment on we began our friendship sharing a locker from the 8th grade through our senior year. It's hard to believe that a friendship was born of such a sarcastic beginning has lasted for some 41 years and counting.
When our children were young we learned that time was a major commodity and to actually have a conversation that made sense we had to call by 6:00am. Janet and I would often have deep and philosophical discussions at the crack of dawn - the super early hours of the morning, solving our personal problems as well as deciding the best way to handle various husband and kid issues. Together we learned that "things" are fleeting and the most important parts of life are the intangible and ethereal ones. This lesson came shortly after one of us, I can't remember which, acquired a new washer and dryer. After this prize was delivered we discovered that our life had not changed as dramatically as we had hoped. In this we discovered that having a new "thing" only changed us in as long as we were lusting for that thing and shortly after we were off wanting a new different "thing."

Now, as we try to get rid of 'things' we continue to grow together and learn the deeper meanings of this life we live. When my life changed dramatically in 2000 and then even more profoundly in 2005, Janet was there for me; listening, guiding, challenging me to grow and adjust to the new beginning. Janet is a chosen sister.

Joanne:

I met Joanne for the first time in my freshman year at Seattle University - 1974. Joanne was a high school friend of another acquaintance I met in that first year of college. Meeting her stands out so clearly in my mind and yet it was such a mundane, casual occurrence that day. Kerri came up to my third floor dorm room and brought along Joanne. Kerri introduced her to me and that was the end of it for nearly two years and yet I remember it so clearly. Does our sub-conscious know immediately that we've been impacted even before we registrar it on a conscious level? Joanne was the type of person that I wanted to have as a friend, she had a lot of friends and was very popular. Although "friends" we didn't become close - 'best' friends until we shared a life altering similarity in the early 90s. Joanne had helped me in ways that I can't articulate.

Joanne brings out the silly in me and I love that. For whatever reason my mind works in crazy ways when I'm with her. Once we ran into each other at the local QFC. Kelsey was with me and as the three of us talked it occurred to me that an adult could sit in the grocery cart like small children do. I proceed to climb into the cart fitting my legs into the two openings. Joanne and Kelsey, along with me were laughing and amazed that a grown adult could sit comfortably albeit ridiculously. Joanne took it upon herself to wheel me out into the opening of the store where by now I was laughing uncontrollably as were the two of them. The problem with an adult sitting in a grocery cart aside from how they look is you can't get out of the cart without help. If you tried to on your own you would dump the cart onto its side and probably be hurt in the process. By now Joanne and Kelsey were laughing 'pee your pants' style and were paralyzed with their laughter. I was stuck in the front of the store in a grocery cart thinking at any minute I would see someone I knew and truly feel humiliated. Luckily Joanne was able to control herself enough to come and retrieve me and help me out of the cart. Fun times and I've had many times like that with her.
Along with the silly though I have grown spiritually with Joanne. Her shoulder is one that I have cried on countless times, she is my "wingman" and self esteem builder - she is a true sister to me.

B-Z:

My most vivid memory of B-Z is what I imagined her to look like before I actually met her. All I heard about was her extraordinary long hair. I couldn't help but imagine a "Cher" look-a-like; somewhat Native American in appearance, sharp cheek bones, ruddy complexion, exotic, quick-witted. I got a some of that correct: B-Z is very quick-witted and had long hair but other than that she is the antithesis of Cher. She has blond hair, Scandinavian in appearance, kind, loving, honest, true, and loyal, B-Z is the consummate friend. B-Z has helped me become a better mother, friend, grandmother and individual.

B-Z is one of the most organized persons I know. Her true calling should be in event planning. She can put together anything, and I mean anything you would ever want done. From a school carnival, wedding, drug store, house, cabin, scavenger hunt, baby shower, there is no limit to B-Z's gift of planning and implementing a divine event.

Among the countless things that B-Z has done for me, none rank above the time several years ago when my life as I knew it was falling apart. Three months after my husband left my mother died. Job (Old Testament) had nothing over me; I was emotionally wrenched and uncertain of how I was going to get through the pain I was in. B-Z called me the evening of my mother's death and said pick me up at the airport (I was in Arizona where my mother lived) at 11:30pm. B-Z was the arm I leaned on, the sane face in the crowd of bizarre ones, the sensible voice that listened and counseled me. She gave me the strength to push through my personal pain and survive the situation I found myself in.

I do not want to imagine a life without the blessings that she has brought to me. I am privileged to call her my sister.

I am humbly grateful for the many woman who have made a difference in my life. Denise, Shelly, Kathleen, Karen, Suzi, Teri, Diane, I often think about how profoundly lucky I am to have met these incredible women. I know that it has nothing to do with me or what I did to deserve their presence and gifts; surely I'm not that smart or intuitive! I celebrate each of you, grateful for your friendship and wisdom, pray for you daily and I will love you forever!